Life is All About Relationships
What Kind of Relationship Are You Experiencing?
There are many kinds of relationships and they are all important. As human beings, it is natural for us to seek soul mates. The term ‘soul mate’ should not be limited to romantic partners. The realization that all people are souls incarnate can deepen our appreciation of one another and life in general. Acting upon this realization is a true sign of respect and integrity. It is also important to realize that the most important relationship a conscious human being can create is the one with their self – your body, mind, heart and soul (SELF). We may also refer to this as our
We may also refer to this as our “whole self”. This relationship is obvious because we all must live with our feelings, empirical senses, conscience and all the other functions of our being occurring within us. At a deeper level than thoughts, feelings, and physical senses is our soul. This relationship is established in the heart center. This is also the seat of intuitive knowing. There are many spiritual techniques to assist you and you can even begin now by learning to center your awareness there.
Beyond this primary relationship we each experience, are relationships with others. Specifically, romantic love is one of the most cherished and sought of all relationships. The love between two people who want to merge and bond sexually is linked to the notion of romance. Romance is its own kind of magic. Yet there are other levels and kinds of love as well, which may come under other headings of love. Further, what is romantic to one, is not interpreted the same by all others. What constitutes, romance and a romantic life and love relationships between a bonded couples are relative. However we may define it, this desire for relationship is a fundamental feature of human nature. Sometimes there are stages and sometimes even lifetimes when we are not so oriented to close personal relationships, but this is the minority. As we awaken to what it means to us, at whatever point or stage in our life, we can consciously define what we need and want in
Sometimes there are stages and sometimes even lifetimes when we are not so oriented to close personal relationships, but this is the minority. As we awaken to what it means to us, at whatever point or stage in our life, we can consciously define what we need and want in a relationship. Making this clear first to one’s self and then over time, by the natural process of coming to know and understand one another better, with a prospective mate, we ourselves become more conscious in our whole life. Upon completion of the exercises below, you will have outlined 40 core features that you seek in a partner. The secret is that we are seeking someone who is like us enough to be rhythmic, harmonious, passionate, flowing… Like’s attract and opposites compliment.
We are destined to learn certain lessons and experiences, key turning points and even endings. How we interpret and meet these is relative to our circumstances and choices. The ancient notion of karma is often attached to that of fate. Karma, in turn, is closely linked to probability. Yet, if the above concepts are understood, we can break free of limiting attitudes and interpretations. In essence, we can enter more fully into the moment, into ‘Now’ and engage in the process of our life with an increased sense of possibility, wonder and fulfillment regardless of the outcome. This refers to our relationships in general and also to the natural desire for romantic love.
The ‘chemistry’ (Synastry) between two people is commonly accepted as fact and can be measured with Astrology. Just because there is good chemistry it does not mean a couple will get together or even stay together. Astrology can also measure the ‘deeper purpose’ (Composite) of a relationship and where that purpose is at now from a cyclic perspective (Progressed Composite). Often, people do not know who they truly are or what they truly need in terms of their nature and destiny in relationships or what are the deeper themes of their relationship. Negatively, this lack of awareness can produce degrees of confusion, denial, anger, repression, manipulation, coercion, abuse and so on….
From my years of study and practice as an Astrologer, I have come to recognize that there are 4 basic types of a romantic love relationship:
1) Lover 2) Domestic 3) Mission 4) A synthesis of all 3.
By nature (character, karma & destiny) some people are more inclined to one of these types over the other two. On the other hand, it may be the stage in a person’s life that best describes their desire and mode of attraction to a partner. This may be seen to be obvious with respect to younger people, teenagers who are experiencing sexual desire and romantic attractions for the first time. However, upon closer examination we discover that such cycles can occur at other time periods in our life as well. The study of life cycles introduces a less linear perspective where we recognize that some people, for example, may not feel so romantically inclined in their teens at all, yet will at other periods of their life. Many more examples of the influence of life cycles on our attitudes and desires can be cited but is not the scope of this article.
All 4 categories listed above can overlap and a synthesis of all 3 may be ideal, yet may not be suited to our nature, destiny needs and stage of life. The following is a brief yet more detailed description of each category. Aim to achieve an honest assessment of both the person you feel you are and what you feel you want and need at this stage of your life:
Lover – This time of connection has a lot of passion, usually sexual ‘high heat’ and intensity, yet not so much stability. Such a relationship can be very fulfilling in many ways and both people can learn and grow a lot or not and simply have fun. If the relationship is destined to strictly be a lover relationship, there will not be a deeper purpose or mission. Also, if the decision is made to live together and create a domestic environment, especially where children enter the picture, the passion may quickly fizzle out, the spell will be broken, in light of the realities and responsibilities of domesticity such as rent, bills, maintenance, retirement, daily chores…
Domestic – This type of connection often has less heat and intensity yet is more stable. This type of love relationship is ideal for people who want to have a family and bring children into the world together. The expectation or desire for sustained intensity and sexual passion is reduced, giving more consideration to the various realities of domestic and family life with all its responsibilities. Love may be deep and sex may be satisfying, yet what might be described as ‘raw passion’ and ‘eager anticipation’ is not as high as life settles into a steady rhythm.
Mission – This type of connection implies some kind of higher purpose. What the purpose is not as important as realizing that it characterizes either what a person is experiencing or seeking. The notion of seeking a relationship for anything other than romance or to create a family and so on may seem foreign to some, but according to some people’s nature and the stage they are at in their life, it will make perfect sense and feel true. The purpose could be to adopt a child or to do some kind of work together.
A combination of all 3 above. This is the ideal many probably desire. Yet not all are destined to have this experience now or ever. Free will does play a role though and with creative intention, we may find purpose in a lover relationship, for example. Yet, that may also be all the relationship may be destined for. In other words, some people seem to come together to produce a child or children, then soon thereafter, the romance ends and the relationship itself ends. This can be very confusing and painful. Yet, it should not be deemed a given that the couple made a mistake. Life works in mysterious ways and sometimes to achieve its ends, based on the laws of Karma, the flow of experiences are not so linear and obvious. The insights offered by Astrology reveal this very clearly. For example, in the case of adoption, which may well appear rather random and arbitrary based on ‘unfortunate circumstances, mistakes and accidents’ the sociological parent will be indicated in the chart much more clearly than the biological parent(s). This fact can easily be demonstrated yet is not the purpose of this article.
True Love in relationships can be summarized as a balance between Love, Respect, Trust and Compatibility. By clarifying to ourselves exactly the kind of partner we need and want, our conscious and subconscious mind has a more specific focus to work with. Call it conscious co-creation. What we need is generally deeper than what we simply want and implies our evolution and growth in consciousness and true maturity as a human being. Simply getting older does not necessarily equate to maturity in consciousness.
Creating a conscious relationship is another feature of this process and emphasizes the importance of consciously creating versus simply having a relationship. The power of asking is clear in the statement: “Ask and you shall receive.” Woven in this statement is The Law of Attraction. Life includes challenges as well as joys and ideally, we recognize that both are necessary for growth and balance.